deorre's blog

I have been signing and playing guitar for well over three decades, and writing and performing for a good twenty of those years. Typically a solo act, I have been billed as softsounds.That is an accurate description of what I do--an acoustic, unplugged genre with an eclectic blend of styles that include easy listening, jazz, folk, soft rock, blues, and country. Perhaps, then, you can see why it is easier to simply call it softsounds.

I have returned to the studio for the first time in over ten years. After selecting eight to ten of my more recent compositions, I have laid them down on a CD in a 'live' version that includes no over-lying tracks or 'add-ons'. Just live, without the audience.

9/11/2006

May peace be with you.

May peace be with your loved ones.

May your legacy not be lost, and all survivors learn from the tragedy, travail, and calamity that has taken your life.

May your loved ones be treasured, nurtured, and cared for. May they be valued as ones who have lost something precious. And may your loved ones feel empowered to move on to live a life that would make you proud.

May your death reduce, in some way, the footprint that hatred has delivered on the landscape of humanity.

May peace be with you.

Thank you, Mom, for providing those soft and pillowy mounds for me to mush my head into when I was feeling particularly distraught. I know you thought I was hungry, and maybe I was. Yet, it was more the soft fleshiness all around my little head that gave me the comfort.

You see, I didn't know how to think very well back then. I would make mountains out of molehills. A bit of the fece oozing out, and I was off to the races.

WAHHHHHHHH!

And you were there. To clean me, and then put my head into those soft, pillowy pads on your chest. They were always such a comfort. I've not yet been able to replace them. Tempurpedic has come pretty close, though it doesn't breathe and say nice things to me.

After some degree of study and thought, and making certain that I dot my 'I's and cross my 'T's, I have decided that it is time for me to engage in a campaign of Manifest Destiny. You know, like the movement and growth of the United States of America. Identifying that destiny demanded growth and proliferation. And the pesky eradication of many peoples, cultures, animals, and such. Well, that was all justified. Remember. Manifest Destiny said so.

So, I am now prepared to engage similar thinking in my world. On the city and state level, it is now called eminent domain. Same thing, though. It's all about creating a rationale for taking something from someone else.

How much alienation, anomie, anxiety, and disintegration must a person endure before the decision is made to seek change? Change, not on a micro- level, but on a macro- level.

While it is easier to create personal changes than social adjustments, such individual work can take a lifetime. Keep a person very busy and focussed on Self.

In this day and age of modern convenience and relative luxury, not to mention the massive and seemingly unapproachable institutions of the culture politic, those longing for macro- change are at a loss. Activism was driven by passion at one time. Now, it is a business in and of itself. 'Get paid to be an activist', say the want ads. Any cause--"we have them all'.

Prepare yourself for the coming rants. Soon, as Mothers Day approaches, there will be many who proclaim that this is but another opportunity for big bad business to make as much money as possible. Like Valentines Day, Fathers Day, and such. Capitalize on the poor innocent and ignorant people who want to demonstrate affection for their mothers.

Flowers, cards, chocolates, dildos, or whatever else may say to mom "I love you and I thank you". "It's just a fabrication created by business" goes the mantra. Anybody who participates in this demonized day that purports to celebrate mommy and all that that entails is but a blind and ignorant imbecile.

Every life has its’ defining moments. In terms of archetypes, this can be seen as the Night Sea Journey so eloquently depicted by Homer in The Odyssey. Odysseus, en route home, experiences many a defining moment in his twenty-year journey. The many ordeals at sea each had a sculpting and molding on his ever-maturing psyche.

These defining moments, often stressful, bring flavor and meaning to life. There is a pattern that occurs, possibly unrecognizable with anything but hindsight. We may be aware that we are in the midst of a ‘night-sea journey’, yet the luxury of reflection comes typically after-the-fact.

There is a common theme that I encounter when working with addicts and others chemically involved. While many a recovering individual rightfully accepts responsibility for his or her ‘character flaws’ and actions, rarely if ever do they accept credit for their successes. The success always goes to God, “as we understand him”.

 What’s that about? Wouldn’t it be empowering to identify success as something I had a hand in? And conversely, isn’t it disempowering to only get credit for the failures?

I remember thinking when I was a kid in trouble that all “they ever notice is when I screw up. I’m never acknowledged for doing good.” As I’ve grown up and matured, I have come to realize that indeed I can make a difference n my own life. And, I’m proud of that!

"My heart is source of emotional experience and expression, and I express my emotional experience in a way that is compatible with the nature and integrity of the moment."

Emotions are more than mysterious feelings. They are bio-chemically active processes within our mind-body system. A mindful awareness and approach to our emotions is key.

Many go through their days in knee-jerk reaction to this or that, spewing their mindless emotional experience all over the place. Very disturbing and very disruptive. This is not healthy, and not necessary.

It may take some practice to learn to simply be with what you are feeling, but to do so will empower you beyond what you could imagine. Our emotions, our passion, are our source of personal power. Coming to terms with anger, sadness, loss, frustration, anxiety, and even happiness and glee, will go a long way toward freeing you up to truly and deeply be you. Very significant. After all, you is the best thing you have to offer to others.

What to do with writers' block. Or with just being too burnt out to write anything significant, substantial, or even humorous. That is the question. I've read and discussed two sides of this debate.

Some say that if the juices are not flowing, accept that and take a break. Refresh, rejuvenate, and it will come. Sooner or later. Proponents of this view may have the luxury of such 'down time' and regeneration.

On the other side of the debate are those who say you must discipline yourself and sit down each and every day to write. Even if there is nothing there. Go through the motions. Similar to the "fake it 'til you make it" mentality of some in recovery.